Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Randomize
