So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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