Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
