does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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