I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
