I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
