if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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