and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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