Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry futurebitch hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.

Fav 13 1794 4204
share tweet
(907): View more from Alaska

I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.

Fav 36 3895 1234
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.

Fav 61 6096 1471
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs

Fav 9 3572 1983
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

Fav 20 3417 1233
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.

Fav 7 2576 968
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(951): View more from California

Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.

Fav 9 2411 961
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?

Fav 1 133 140
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home

Fav 0 16 41
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT