I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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