Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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