You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
