I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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