Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
