fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
