The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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