The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
