Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
