OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
