I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
