Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
