I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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