Whod you bang
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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