Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
