That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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