Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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