I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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