wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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