He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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