I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
