no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
soo... how was my night?
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