the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
