We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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