Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
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This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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