this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
