Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
