I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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