I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He did a backflip because drugs
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