I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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