I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
