xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
