Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
