dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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