Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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