omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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