You made me cry and you don't even care
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
