You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
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'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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