how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
