That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
