so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
