so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...