All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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