If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
