all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
