New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
