bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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