oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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