I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
