i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
