Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
