Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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