ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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