Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
